Update -- Thursday, Jan. 13, 2005

David and Steve, our private investigator and a great source of strength, remain in Krabi searching for Ben. They met a man from Morton Grove named Eddie Watua (forgive any misspelling). Eddie has no relatives or personal connection to anyone who was affected by the tsunami, but left Morton Grove for Thailand so that he could offer help to whomever needed it. As David said, “Aren’t people amazing?!”

Although we are still praying for a miracle, we have to be realistic. That being said, we continue to examine all of the bodies taken from Koh Phi Phi. A new lead arose last night, with information about a body that was found with a “choker style necklace,” similar to one we think Ben was wearing the day the tsunami hit. Steve was able to get photos of the body e-mailed to him, and it was not Ben. It has been difficult, but we are all learning that although every day might bring yet another lead like this one, we have to be careful about getting riled up, and getting on emotional roller coasters with each one. Each lead will have to be investigated, until the day comes when we find Ben. The search will likely be long. It will require emotional and psychological endurance. As we began to realize how long and painstaking the process of finding Ben was going to be, we also began to realize that perhaps it was time for David to come home to Heather and Emmett. And so, David will be back in Evanston on Saturday afternoon. Hope and Bob are eager to have him in their arms, happy that David was able to go and see where Ben had been, and to have helped so much in the search.

When passing through Bangkok, David hopes to visit Libby North in the hospital. He will also visit with Khun Dhatri Prapapant and Khun Mum, who are the father and stepmother of Ben and David’s cousin’s (Missy) college roommate. Khun Dhatri Prapapant is a senior official in the Thai government who has been helpful in making the right connections on the ground, and David wants to thank him personally.

Steve will continue to track down leads and work with the forensics teams in Thailand. He expects to stay another day or two in Krabi, and then relocate to Phuket. The entire DVI (Disaster Victims Identification) effort is being transferred there, all the international DVI teams are pulling out of Krabi and heading there, and all victims of the disaster whose remains are under DVI control will be indexed and categorized there. It will take the DVI some time to get the databases up and running, but Steve will be there to monitor and assist, and to continue the search.

The Abels family continues to be amazed by the outpouring of love for them and for Ben. They want to share with you a letter they received from Ruth (Grill) Murray and, with Ruth’s permission, we are including it with this update. Thank you Ruth, and thank you to everyone we hear from every day.

1/9/05

Dear Abels,

I wanted to send some photos to you that I’ve found in the photo albums I’ve kept over the years. I was hesitant at first to look for these pictures because I was unsure of what emotions might be uncovered along with each photo, but to my surprise, my first reaction was always a big smile. I really shouldn’t have been surprised at all, because a smile has always been my first response to hearing Ben’s voice, seeing him in person, or reading a postcard from him.

Ben has always been such a great person to be around and to know. He’s never just hung out with one specific group of people because he has such a wide variety of interests and a way about him that he could fit in with anyone, anywhere. I’m sure you’ve always been aware of this gift he has, but probably even more so now.

What I truly cherish is that I’ve been lucky enough to be a close friend of Ben’s for such a long time. It’s rare to find a person as genuine and loyal as Ben.

The things Ben has seen and done go above and beyond the average life. His appreciation of people and the world is special and it comforts me to know, that wherever he is, it is yet another adventure he will experience with an open mind and open heart. He will never regret going on this trip because its part of who he is and one of his passions in life. I know the dull ache you feel when you miss being out there, the joy that overwhelms you when you’re planning a trip, and the exhilaration of experiencing new people, places and cultures. Ben doesn’t usually feel the ache for too long, he’s good about always having something in the works, focusing on the joy and exhilaration.

Wherever he’s been, Ben’s carried with him and shared his sense of belonging and generosity which has touched peoples’ lives both locally and globally. This loving, kind and truly unique spirit of his is and always will be very alive in the hearts of all of us who know Ben.

Love, Ruth (Grill) Murray