Update -- Friday, Jan. 14, 2005
David left Krabi yesterday morning, accompanied on the flight from Krabi to Bangkok by representatives of the State Department. Once in Bangkok, he spent several hours visiting with Libby North, and met with many other survivors of the tsunami, and more specifically, survivors of the wave at Phi Phi. We believe this was good for him. He also met with Khun Dhatri Prapapant and Khun Mum, who are the father and stepmother of Ben and David’s cousin’s (Missy) college roommate. They were very gracious, and were able to help us secure willing assistance from various Thai professionals.
Our investigator, Steve, returned to the morgue after dropping David at the Krabi airport, and pulled records of all males that had gone through that facility. He plans to check and cross-check those records with forensic dentists in Krabi and Phuket.
Steve tells us that all international teams have pulled out of Krabi. They have relocated to Phuket, and Steve will join them soon. He does not expect the authorities to have functioning databases in Phuket for an indeterminate time, but will be there to run comparisons as soon as it is possible. He will also follow up to see what the Naval personnel had to report following the sweep of Phi Phi's coastline.
As the family eagerly awaits to embrace David upon his return to Chicago on Saturday, their thoughts turn to the unwanted next step. After speaking with clergy and close family members, the Abels are planning to gather friends and family for a service. Details will be posted soon.
Our investigator, Steve, returned to the morgue after dropping David at the Krabi airport, and pulled records of all males that had gone through that facility. He plans to check and cross-check those records with forensic dentists in Krabi and Phuket.
Steve tells us that all international teams have pulled out of Krabi. They have relocated to Phuket, and Steve will join them soon. He does not expect the authorities to have functioning databases in Phuket for an indeterminate time, but will be there to run comparisons as soon as it is possible. He will also follow up to see what the Naval personnel had to report following the sweep of Phi Phi's coastline.
As the family eagerly awaits to embrace David upon his return to Chicago on Saturday, their thoughts turn to the unwanted next step. After speaking with clergy and close family members, the Abels are planning to gather friends and family for a service. Details will be posted soon.
4 Comments:
Dear Abels Family:
I don't know you, and I am a resident of Evanston. I have followed this story, and please know that you all are in my prayers. After reading about Ben, he was truly a remarkable man. I'm sorry I did not know him.
I hope the God of Peace and Understanding can bring you comfort in this most difficult time for you all. You remain in my prayers.
always with you in our hearts...prayers...thoughts....love and hugs, joanie
To the Abels family,
My name is Elena Garfield, and I would like to share some thoughts of Ben.
I first met Ben in high school when he spent a day in downtown Chicago with Mike Hauser, Jody Hauser, Kristin Berry and I. We all ran around Water Tower trying on crazy hats and just generally acting silly. But truly it wasn’t until I was living in Colorado and Becca Waller entered my brother Joey’s life that I had the privilege to become better friends with Ben (and Grommet of course). He took the three of us,plus Jenny Kean and my then boyfriend to his condo in Winter Park. We snowboarded, played old style video games and hung out in the Jacuzzi. Ben shared his home as if it belonged to all of us.
He spent Passover with Joey, Becca, my parents and I in Denver several years ago. I remember so distinctly that after he left we all kind of looked around at each other and one of my parents said, “Ben is a true mench”. And we all knew it was the truth. Whenever I was home in Evanston for a time he and I would go out to Blind Faith where he inevitably ordered the juevos rancheros (I think he was missing South America) and we’d always sit an extra hour or more chatting about life, love, and all the challenges that come with both.
When Ben rented a house a couple blocks from my parents in Evanston the whole family was so excited to have him in the neighborhood. He’d come wandering down our street on his way to workout and stop and chat with whichever one of us was out and about.
Recently Ben gave me the greatest gift of all. He took in my cat Mortimer when I was desperate for a place to keep him. You probably know the story from Ben, but I can’t tell you enough from my end of it how much it meant to me and how much he helped me by taking Morty in. I imagine he shared with you that my mother was diagnosed with cancer about 7 and a half months ago and that I had made the decision to stay here in Evanston and help out during her chemo. Ben offered to keep Morty as long as I needed on one condition: that I promise to take him back with me. He talked about Grommet, her age and condition and that he felt that maybe he wanted another pet around in part for Grom, but didn’t want the commitment of another pet. This way he could have it. He also knew that I had been planning to head to Nicaragua in late fall. He sent me off with a wonderful long message all in Spanish and told me not to worry for a second about Morty.
I feel that every time I was with Ben he was doing something special for someone even if it was just driving them home after a party. He opened his house to not only my cat, but to me as well, giving me a key and telling me to come and visit any time (just knock first). He met my nephew and my cousin from Israel when they came over to meet the animals and see how Morty and Grommet had matching fur color and matched Ben’s house too. Ben was always so gracious and sweet.
I know how desperately he is missed by so many people. I know that just the story of his life, his disappearance, your family’s love and faith and hope has made a horror that is so many miles away feel like it is happening right next door. The story of Ben has given this tragedy a face. But even more importantly I think the descriptions of who he has always been and how he has lived his life has reminded people what love, kindness, generosity, genuine good will, and a true appreciation for living look like in a person who comes by all those traits naturally and without hesitation. When someone hears his story they can not help but see that along with the loss and pain and heartache that your family and those close to him are experiencing…there is also something wonderful that Ben was always sharing. Ben has reminded us all that truly good people still exist in this world, still touch the lives of so many and influence everyone around them. What a gift. Thank you for continuing to share Ben with all of us.
With much caring,
Elena
I have been struggling to find the right words since hearing about Ben – this poem says it better than I will ever be able to.
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NOW, WHEN THE WATERS ARE PRESSING MIGHTILY
Now, when the waters are pressing mightily
on the walls of the dams,
now, when the white storks, returning,
are transformed in the middle of the firmament
into fleets of jet planes,
we will feel again how strong are the ribs
and how vigorous is the warm air in the lungs
and how much daring is needed to love on the exposed plain,
when the great dangers are arched above,
and how much love is required
to fill all the empty vessels
and the watches that stopped telling time,
and how much breath,
a whirlwind of breath,
to sing the small song of spring.
- Yehuda Amichai
(Translated, from the Hebrew, by Leon Wieseltier.)
as seen on the back page of The New Yorker, Jan. 10, 2005
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We love Ben. We miss Ben. We dare to love still. We dare to love again. We add our breath to yours in singing that small but glorious song of spring. We celebrate Ben.
-Andy, Simrin and Aman
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